Over estimating my significance.

16 Mar

Ephraim is 20 months.  He is no longer an infant.  I should probably stop calling him “baby”, but it is hard to let that go knowing I am not having anymore babies.  He is walking, talking, developing and expressing opinions and preferences, and becoming more independent daily.  He even graduated from the Montessori infant house and now goes to the toddler room at the ‘big kids’ Montessori school. The last real vestige of my infant is the fact that he still c0-sleeps.  We have a nightly ritual of all the boys going into Alastair’s room where daddy will read Ephraim 3 age appropriate books and then bring him to me in our room to go to sleep while he goes back with Alastair to read comic books and 1 or more of the 30+ story books we check out from the library weekly.  In our room we have our queen sized bed where mommy and daddy sleep and then a twin bed between our bed and the wall.  That is where Ephraim sleeps.  When I am putting him to bed I lay in his little bed with him and snuggle him and sing a couple of songs until he drifts off and then I sneak out to meet daddy after he is finished reading to Alastair so we can eat dinner and hang out together.  I used to nurse Ephraim to sleep while I sang, but he has been weened for a while now.  I was shocked when on Wednesday night this week as I was singing him to sleep he started aggressively pulling on my shirt and saying “milk” in that barely intelligible sleepy/grumpy toddler with a pacifier way.  I was heartbroken and tried to gently explain to him that I don’t make milk anymore and that I still love him and will snuggle and sing to help him sleep.  That didn’t work.  He kept pulling and whining.  I felt my eyes well up with tears.  After about 5 minutes of him getting frustrated with me and pulling and crying I realized he wasn’t saying “milk”…he was saying “move”.  He wanted me to get out of his bed so he could stretch out.  I felt remarkably less significant at that moment.

Later when I told Rich what had happened he laughed and told me I obviously wasn’t listening and just heard what I wanted to hear.  It makes me nuts when he is right.

p.s.  Don’t feel bad for me.  I think what happened is funny and am proud that E is growing up.


4 Responses to “Over estimating my significance.”

  1. stayathometatte March 16, 2012 at 8:13 am #

    My son used to ask me to sleep in his bed on a nightly basis. I generally stayed for a few minutes, and would then go. Now, however, he tells me to get out so he can go to sleep(he actually plays with his cars as soon as I’m gone), and so, while it may not be the same thing, I can certainly appreciate the sense of feeling less significant in the eyes of your child.

  2. Sheila Talbitzer March 16, 2012 at 9:39 am #

    A similar thing has been happening to me with our 4.5 year old. It used to be when I dropped him off at preschool in the morning I would expect to stay in his classroom for at least 30 minutes while he showed me his “work” and whatever else he could to keep me around. Now, I drop off the little one in the toddler room, walk to primary room to say goodbye to Alastair and before I know it he is saying, “Mommy, please leave.” or the slightly more subtle, “I will wave to you out the window.” It is an uncomfortable mixture of heartbreak and pride most days.

  3. Bree March 16, 2012 at 10:59 am #

    Ian gives me a kiss and a hug, tells me to have a good day and then pushes me out of his classroom and closes the door.
    Bed time he wants a few stories and then pushes me out of bed and tells me to get out.
    It’s cute and at the same time I miss the snugly baby he used to be.

  4. Ibrahim Asghar July 13, 2013 at 4:07 am #

    Ephraim is growing up. A heartfelt post by a mother i’d say.

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