Archive | March, 2012

Over estimating my significance.

16 Mar

Ephraim is 20 months.  He is no longer an infant.  I should probably stop calling him “baby”, but it is hard to let that go knowing I am not having anymore babies.  He is walking, talking, developing and expressing opinions and preferences, and becoming more independent daily.  He even graduated from the Montessori infant house and now goes to the toddler room at the ‘big kids’ Montessori school. The last real vestige of my infant is the fact that he still c0-sleeps.  We have a nightly ritual of all the boys going into Alastair’s room where daddy will read Ephraim 3 age appropriate books and then bring him to me in our room to go to sleep while he goes back with Alastair to read comic books and 1 or more of the 30+ story books we check out from the library weekly.  In our room we have our queen sized bed where mommy and daddy sleep and then a twin bed between our bed and the wall.  That is where Ephraim sleeps.  When I am putting him to bed I lay in his little bed with him and snuggle him and sing a couple of songs until he drifts off and then I sneak out to meet daddy after he is finished reading to Alastair so we can eat dinner and hang out together.  I used to nurse Ephraim to sleep while I sang, but he has been weened for a while now.  I was shocked when on Wednesday night this week as I was singing him to sleep he started aggressively pulling on my shirt and saying “milk” in that barely intelligible sleepy/grumpy toddler with a pacifier way.  I was heartbroken and tried to gently explain to him that I don’t make milk anymore and that I still love him and will snuggle and sing to help him sleep.  That didn’t work.  He kept pulling and whining.  I felt my eyes well up with tears.  After about 5 minutes of him getting frustrated with me and pulling and crying I realized he wasn’t saying “milk”…he was saying “move”.  He wanted me to get out of his bed so he could stretch out.  I felt remarkably less significant at that moment.

Later when I told Rich what had happened he laughed and told me I obviously wasn’t listening and just heard what I wanted to hear.  It makes me nuts when he is right.

p.s.  Don’t feel bad for me.  I think what happened is funny and am proud that E is growing up.

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