I call that “Daddy’s Fault”

4 Nov

I see a lot of myself in my two boys.  They are picky, dramatic, emotional, defiant, and opinionated.  I can own up to those things along with a bunch of their more positive traits.  What I can’t (won’t) claim is their blatant disregard for their own personal physical safety.  I don’t get it.

As the only XX in a house full of XYs, I have come to the non-scientific yet perfectly logical conclusion that the risk-taking behavior is directly associated with that pesky Y chromosome…you know, the one they got from daddy.

Here is some evidence to support my non-scientific yet perfectly logical theory:

-When my husband was little he thought he might like to grow up to be a stuntman.  To prepare, he practiced throwing himself  down the stairs.

-As a teenager he got toxic shock and had to be rushed to the hospital after failing to remove the large splinters in his scalp from a half-pipe skateboarding fall.

-When he joined the Army at 17 he signed up for Field Artillery.  Why?  “I wanted to blow shit up.”

-When the Army did their x-rays upon his enlistment it was discovered he had broken his arms 20+ times.  He has never had a cast.  Direct quote: “Casts are for pussies.”  He said when he was skateboarding and one arm hurt he would just fall on the other one.

-In graduate school while working on a metal sculpture he caught himself in the gut with a grinder and tore up his skin.  Did he go to the hospital? No. He went to Dollar Drink night and then went home numb enough to poor hydrogen peroxide on it and pull out the shrapnel with tweezers.

You are totally on board with me now I bet.

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE (yep. all caps.) this guy.  He is an awesome father and the greatest husband.  His mother claims he was the easiest of her children. (I know and love the other two and being the easiest of those kids isn’t really much of an accomplishment.)

I will be there warning those boys over and over to be careful, but Rich is always the first one to comfort them, staunch the bleeding, wipe the tears, fetch the ice, and apply the bandage.  He should be.  After all, it is his fault.

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